Don't drag the tray

                   

A man was sent to the annual national convention of his professional body by his company.

The convention was a congregation of about 10,000 people.

During one of the days at the covention, it was time for lunch and people were being served.

This man saw that, they were serving people beside him left & right but they were not serving him and the people on his row.

He shouted at the ladies serving and they told him to keep calm that there is enough food for everyone &that it will soon get to his turn.

He watched angrily as they passed the tray containing plates of soup and amala before him again twice without serving him.

When he saw another lady carrying the tray, he stood up angrily & drag the tray of ewedu soup to take his food by force.

Suddenly; the whole tray containing about 6 plate of soup landed on his head as he dragged the tray from the lady's hands.

His white cloth was stained, soiled and spoilt. Pepper got into his eyes and he was shouting,' my eyes ooo, somebody help me, my eyes oo, pepper in my eyes oo, '.

People around him had to drag him out as he could not open his eyes because of the pepper that was still in his eyes. It was a complete show of shame & a reward of impatience.

Dear reader, many of us are like this man, we feel others are already 'eating' success, breakthroughs, fame, popularity, academic excellence, accomplishments and we are yet to be served our own 'food' and we are being tempted to 'drag the tray' and take our  own food by force.

 Friends, I know waiting period is not an easy period. Atimes we feel our friends have left us behind. Many that we started as single ladies together are now married with children& here we are; still single and no ray of proposal talk less of marriage.

Some of us,many of our friends that we got married the same year are through with child bearing and here we are, no miscarriage once talk less of pregnancy, and we feel like 'dragging the tray'.

Atimes, many of us feel that many of our friends that we started work together have left us behind as we see their career blossoming, we feel the only way we can also see our careers validated is to 'drag the tray'.  

Friends, be encouraged! The one serving this 'food' of marriage, success, promotion, career breakthrough is not a man. HE is GOD your Maker!

HE has your own plate of 'food' in HIS tray. At the appointed time, HE will serve you & when you will be eating your own food, those who have eaten before you will watch your mouth as you 'eat' with pleasure. Ecclesiastic 3:1-11

Don't 'drag the tray'. Don't take short cut. If you get the 'miracle' by 'dragging the tray' you will end up in ridicule as you will later be dragged out in shame as the 'pepper' in your eyes will make the end of your 'miracle' a show of shame.

If you are waiting for a man, you can waste but if you are waiting on GOD, your waiting period is never a wasting period!

Wait on GOD. Your 'food' is closer to you than you think.

*Don't drag the tray!*
*Don't drag the tray!!*
*Don't drag the tray!!!*

Ways to staying happy.

Learn to ignore and overlook many things if you truly want happiness in life  because the easiest way to a miserable life is to think that everybody is talking about you.

Never allow anyone to steal your joy from you.

What people say behind your back is none of your business as long as you are true to yourself. Never worry yourself about that.

Sometimes minding your own business does not keep people out of your business.

No matter your situation in life people will always talk. You can never stop people from talking about you, what you can do is to stop giving them what to talk about.

There is a time limit for every rumor in life. Never allow freelance broadcasters put your life on hold. Do what makes you happy. Anyone who cannot feel your pain, has no right to judge you in life. Seventy percent of those who talk bad about you behind your back, wish to be like you.

When people can't be like you they try to bring you down and condemn what you have. Those without money will sarcastically say money is not everything in life. (Is poverty anything?)

Never allow anyone to put you in a position of depression and self pity in life. Those whose life has no joy will always find every means to remove happiness from other people's life.

 If there is the GRACE of GOD in your life, then enemies are inevitable. If no one has ever gossiped or talked bad about you, it means nothing good has ever happened to you.

Never feel bad when old friends become new enemies. They are just tired of pretending to be friends.

Never allow the opinions of people who didn't see your tears stop your laughter in life. 😬You don't owe anybody an explanation to be happy.

Never see yourself through the eyes of those who don't value you.
To be beautiful means to be yourself. To stand out is to be out-standing. You do not need to be accepted by others. You just need to accept yourself.

Never beg anyone to accept you for who you are. Anything you acquire through begging will require begging to maintain or retain.

Be humble but selective. Being selective doesn't mean you are arrogant or proud. It simply means you know your worth. If you are conscious of your personality avoid too much familiarity.

Sometimes when you treat people too much like celebrities, they end up treating you like an ordinary person. You are equally important.

Never downgrade yourself while trying to upgrade anybody in life. Anyone who sees you like an option doesn't deserve to be a priority in your life.

The dream of a fool is for everybody to become a bloody fool like himself.  Avoid negative people if you have a dream. Those without mission will say your vision is just an illusion.

Negative minds will never give you a positive life. Anyone who is always reminding you about what is wrong with you has a personal problem which he/she wants to take out on you.

Most people spend half of their entire life analysing the faults in other people's life, when their own lives need urgent repairs.

Never worry yourself about enemies and friends, because everybody in your life will eventually fall into one of the two categories.

Some will hate you and some will love you. Loving you or hating you are both in your favour. When people love you, you live peacefully and happily in their hearts,  and when people hate you, you become the landlord in their head living painfully in their brain everyday and giving them sleepless nights.
Have a great day!!!

The best awaits you.

Celebrate where you are.

1. If you are SINGLE and keep on saying "I DON'T TRUST MEN OR WOMEN!" Remember your mates are getting married every  Saturday. Let me ask you, are they marrying spirits? Wise up!

2. If you are MARRIED and keep saying "I HATE THIS MARRIAGE!" OK! Is it not married people like you that are celebrating Gold, Silver and even Platinum jubilee?

3. If you keep on ranting, ''I'M LEAVING MY MAN, HE CHEATED ON ME!" Please, go to town and see all the fine, cute, sexy, hot, hungry and desperate chicks waiting to snatch your man's money and property, they don't even mind sharing. Make it work, my friend!

4. Stop saying "I HATE MY JOB!" Look! 20 million people are jobless and can't even find any not to talk of keeping it! Do you want to join them?

5. You keep saying "I HATE WHERE I LIVE!" Oh please! *tears* Try visiting those locations that are flooding now, people leaving in tin/zinc shacks in winter or people living/sleeping under the bridge at night and you will be grateful to God that you even have a place to stay!

6. Some say "I AM TIRED OF THIS LIFE!" Well, go to the hospital and see people fighting for their lives! Go to the mortuary and take a look then tell me what you feel after that! The point is, be positive and believe in God, that's all that matters. Be Blessed.

CHERISH EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE: To realize the value of a sister/brother ask someone Who doesn't have one.

To realize the value of togetherness: Ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years: Ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize the value of one month: Ask a mother Who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.

To realize the value of parents ask orphans who lost his parents a day after his birth.

To realize the value of a friend or family member: LOSE ONE.

Remember. Hold on tight to the ones you love! And don't forget the one who sent it to you!

I HOPE EVERYBODY WILL REFLECT ON THIS.

Mistresses: what goes on in their mind

October 31,2014/Family Bliss

 Recently, I watched a TV show hosted by Dr Phil. In this particular episode, four ladies were interviewed who had ongoing relationships with married men. The host in his line of questioning tried to lay bare (expose) the internal workings of the minds of these ladies: what goes on in their heads, what they felt, how they currently feel, what attracted or lured them into the relationships, their justifications for being in the relationships, how they deal with the guilt, what they think about themselves etc. It is so easy to crucify these ladies for being involved with other women’s husbands, especially when we consider the great harm being done to different homes. So many families have been torn apart, resulting in dysfunctional homes and dysfunctional children being raised in the larger society. Often it becomes a vicious cycle.
In the course of the interview, the host tried to bring them to terms with their persona. They defended themselves just like anyone would when one’s real self is laid bare before one and others to see. Despite the defences, the justifications etc., I saw something that made my heart heavy: broken women without self-worth and esteem selling themselves short of God’s best for their lives, who over time had believed and received the lies of the enemy as the truth.
Majority of women, while growing up as young girls, do not consciously nurture the idea of being someone’s mistress or “the other woman.” Usually as a young girl, you tend to have lofty dreams of meeting a prince charming someday, someone who comes across your path and sweeps you off your feet. And some actually get to live this dream. For some, however, it is a bumpy ride; yet they get there. For others, it remains just an elusive dream or what you call a fantasy.
Over the years, I have heard and seen different women with different attitudes and dispositions towards life. Some are unscrupulous ladies who would always look for the easiest way out of every awkward situation even if it is demeaning. Some are principled ladies – ladies who are morally inclined. Some are genuine believers – ladies who really loved the Lord, but who found themselves in illicit love affairs.
For the lady without scruples, it is easy to arrive at a conclusion regarding why she got involved in an illicit love affair. However, when it comes to the principled ones or the good girls, so to speak, you are at a loss trying to fathom the rationale behind her actions. You ask yourself:  how did a good girl become wayward? How did a vibrant God-loving sister get herself entangled in what ought not to be named among God’s people?
The word “illicit” usually refers to something that is unethical, amoral or unacceptable, such as having an affair with a married man or woman. Romantic or sexual relationship outside of marriage is termed an extramarital affair, and could be between two people married to different spouses or between a single and a married individual. In the context of the Word of God, it is an adulterous relationship, hence sinful. Socially it is amoral and unacceptable, and the parties involved, especially the married ones, go to great lengths to avoid being discovered or caught. They love the thrill of going against the norm, yet they do not want to destroy their own homes. In a way, they want to have their cake and eat it. The truth is that no right thinking man or woman would deliberately plan to destroy his or her home. So why do people still cheat on their spouse and do those things that ultimately lead to the ruin of their family? As Proverbs 9:17 says, “Stolen waters (pleasures) are sweet [because they are forbidden]; and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.” (AMP)
I believe the above scripture gives us some insight on the workings of the minds of some people; it tells how a lot of individuals, particularly the unregenerate, are wired. Man in his fallen state is rebellious and tends to lust or go after things which are out of his jurisdiction. Take for example, when God gave the Ten Commandments to the children of Israel in the wilderness, after they came out of Egypt. The first law was not to have other gods beside the Lord, and this was the very first law they broke by making a golden calf. (see Exodus 20 & 32)
In this discourse, our focus is on the mistresses and not the men. We want to examine some of the reasons why a lady, rather than have her own man, would choose to share another’s man, relegate herself to the position of a second fiddle and ultimately destroys the home of the parties involved. Like I mentioned earlier, no lady sets out to be a mistress, but quite a number of women have found themselves there at some points. Sadly some are still in such relationships.

1. Some ladies become mistresses because of the financial gains it affords them – the opportunity to live a lavish lifestyle and have someone take care of all their bills.
2. Some people are averse to commitments; they want a part-time stable relationship, and a married man seems to be the perfect solution. The man comes and goes as he wants; they both live their separate lives and there is no binding contractual arrangement between them. It is a symbiotic relationship where mutual benefits are derived by the parties involved.
3. There is also another class of people who want to enjoy the gains/benefits of marriage without having to do the hard work of “keeping” a marriage.
4. Some are in such relationships because of the non-disclosure of marital status by the man. Some women go into relationships without realising their partner was already married to someone else. By the time they realise it, they have become emotionally attached and breaking away from such relationships becomes difficult.
5. Some women find themselves in marriages that have become passionless and unexciting, and having to deal with the feelings of been unappreciated, unwanted and unloved. This makes them easy prey to predators who capitalise on their vulnerability and emotional instability and they end up taking solace in the arms of a lover who gives them what they think they lack and long for, even if it done in deception.
6. Some people are so battered emotionally that they feel, and have over time come to believe, it is the crumbs they deserve in life and not the real deal. They believe they are not good enough to be any man’s wife, so they settle for the life of a mistress.
7. There are those that feel and think life has passed them by. They hear their biological clock ticking away and conclude no young single man will pay them attention. So they end up settling for an older man who usually is married just to fulfil their basic needs of companionship and intimacy.
8. When a lady is gullible and naive – this usually is common among younger ladies. Their married male lover tells them all sorts of story about his wife and marriage in order to elicit empathy from them. They then end up thinking and feeling they are his comforter and the one who can help him out of his misery.

These factors are not exhaustive; they are just some of the reasons ladies get involved in illicit affairs. This is meant to serve as an eye-opener to the ways the minds of these ladies work at times. Considering that the human mind is complex, most times the driving force is a composite of various factors deeply rooted in the psyche of the individuals.
Ladies that date married men are generally considered to be callous, unfeeling etc. The truth however is that there is actually no one without a conscience, and this was easily perceivable among the ladies brought on Dr Phil’s show. One could actually sense the feeling of guilt that pervaded their beings despite their supposed frankness and indifference to the issue.
Overtime the things we do can either deaden our conscience or make it alive. For instance, if you subject yourself constantly to hearing, reading, studying, reflecting and acting on God’s Word, you are changed from the inside, and this directly affects you outwardly (transformed). You may not be able to explain what took place, but people who knew you previously would attest to the fact that there is something different about you. Conversely, if you feed yourself with lies, negativities and all the wrong stuff, and actively engage in them, overtime you get accustomed to feeling right about it. But the guilt does not disappear; it is locked deep somewhere inside of you. The more you give in to it, the more difficult it becomes to hear the voice of your conscience. Ultimately you lose touch with your inner being and end up being the lie you have accepted and woven around yourself.
Sister, you are beautifully and wonderfully made, so you deserve the best. You are not meant to play second fiddle in life. You are not a plaything for any man. Do not subscribe to the lies that you can or will never get your own man or that you are not good enough. In the beginning, He who created the heavens and earth made them male and female. As long as you came into this world as a female, know for sure that there is someone out there specially crafted for you. However, if you do not let go of the entanglement you are in, the real will not surface or manifest.
You might have felt pressed for time or your biological clock ticking away. As a result, you decided to settle for less than the best. Do not let the guilt drown you. I know of someone who has the power and ability to restore lost times and seasons, and renew your youth like that of the eagle. But first, you have to let go of what is not rightfully yours.
Do you feel empty within? He will fill your void, make you whole (complete) and give you joy that no bands of being single, unloved, unwanted and unappreciated can hold. If He did it for me (gave me a great husband in His own time), then your case is not too hard for Him to handle. Irrespective of the circumstances, He can do it for you if only you will allow Him. Today, He beckons to you. Open your heart and trust Him with the affairs of your life. He has assured through His Word never to leave nor forsake you. You will not be put to shame in Jesus name.

Fountain of Life with Taiwo Odukoya: Infidelity & the Sanctity of Marriage

October 10, 2014/ Bella naija




Often we hear that someone we know has been involved in infidelity. The question usually is: Why did he /she do it? Are we all exposed to the same temptations that make some fall into the trap of infidelity? Can we better handle such situations, when they come, and thus avoid making a mess of our marriage?

Also known as extramarital affair, infidelity is described as ‘voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife, or between a married woman and someone other than her husband.’ In other words, it is having sex with someone who is not your spouse.

Two issues can be clearly identified in infidelity: the act and the thought. Generally, a married person is unfaithful to his or her spouse if he or she physically engages in sexual acts with someone who is not his or her spouse. Adultery does not just happen; it starts in the mind.

Research findings
Statistics published in the January 2014 edition of Journal of Marital and Family Therapy showed that one or both spouses in 41% of marriages admitted to physical or emotional infidelity. Thirty-six percent of such infidelity was discovered to have occurred with co-workers, while 35% happened during business trips.

In fact, many researchers have come to the conclusion that:

• over a third of mar­ried men will cheat on their wives;
• nearly a quar­ter of all mar­ried women will cheat on their husbands; and
• more than 50% of all mar­riages will be impacted by one of the spouses being unfaith­ful.

Why do people do it?
The truth is, a person has an affair when there is something that triggers him or her to defy the very vows he or she made, on his or her wedding day, to be faithful to his or her partner. Such would include:

• Unnecessary familiarity with the opposite sex.
• Sexual deprivation at home.
• Revenge or unrestrained anger.
• Uncontrolled sexual habits before marriage.
• Financial problems.

In addition, the following may serve as catalysts to infidelity:

• Waning physical attraction between a married couple.
• Chronic illness or disability which may render a spouse incapable of performing his or her conjugal responsibility.
• Tension and conflict in marriage due to any of a number of factors such as long periods of separation, in-law problems and career problems.
• Critical life events such as death, rejection, being uprooted, personal failure or life transitions.
• One partner feeling that his or her needs are not being met.
• Emotional emptiness.
• Need for sexual variety or inability to resist a new sexual opportunity.
• Alcohol or drug addiction.
• Growing apart.
• Lack of conflict resolution skills.

Surprisingly, success is also a risk factor in infidelity because it often makes one more attractive to others.

Grievous consequences
Anyhow one looks at it, infidelity has painful consequences, affecting the person involved in it physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is said to be the number one reason for divorce. The emotional scars of guilt, fear and anxiety can devastate everyone affected by it.

1. It is therefore no wonder that among the most commonly reported consequences of infidelity are:
2. Strained relationship with God and spouse
3. Injury to self-image
4. Injury to self-confidence
5. Injury to sexual confidence
6. Loss of trust and belonging
7. Loss of respect
8. Feelings of helplessness and abandonment
9. Feelings of depression
10. Feelings of anxiety
11. Feelings of humiliation
12. Feelings of rage
13. Feelings of shame, guilt and blameworthiness
14. Feelings of undesirability and insecurity
15. Feelings of hostility and vengeance

Sometimes the many effects of adultery continue throughout a lifetime. There is also grow­ing psy­cho­log­i­cal evi­dence that adul­ter­ous behav­iour in par­ents dra­mat­i­cally affects chil­dren when they reach adult­hood.

The way out
Now, if you are trapped in an affair or weighed down by the guilt of past affairs, you can come out of it.

1. Ask God for forgiveness because adultery is first a sin against God. So repent and make a U-turn. That means you have to be genuinely sorry for your infidelity.
2. Seek proper counselling.
3. Fix what you can and seek to rebuild broken trust.
4. Make deliberate efforts to avoid situations that will compromise your resolve not to do it again.
5. Trust God to help you become a better person.

On the other hand, if it is your spouse who is in an amorous relationship, you need to uphold him or her in prayers, and seek necessary help for him or her as well as yourself.

Be on your guard
Now, we are all exposed on a daily basis to situations that seek to trap us and destroy our destiny. But if by the grace of God you are determined to keep your marital vows and remain unsoiled, then you need to:

1. Set boundaries in your relationship, particularly with the opposite sex. The truth is, those eye contacts, soft touches, smiles, holding of hands, gossips, dirty talks or jokes, little supposed favours, among other things, will lead to serious consequences if you tolerate or give the impression that you enjoy them. If a man or woman looks straight into your eyes, without any just reason, and you do not immediately look away, it is assumed that you are interested. It is worse if you follow it up or respond with a smile. And there are many out there who know how to subdue with their eyes. Do not be a victim.
2. Be open to your spouse. Let him or her in whenever you feel a window that could compromise your relationship is opening. Remember, sin thrives in secrecy.
3. Listen to your spouse, and do not make it impossible for him or her to trust you with certain information.
4. Guard your heart. You need to cut short or circumvent every thought that is likely to lead you to adultery.
5. Cultivate the right mindset to your marital vows.Too often, people do not fully understand that marriage, as God ordained it, is truly “till death do us part.” That mindset will help you stay away from everything that will seek to make it otherwise.
6. Love your spouse, and reaffirm that love on a daily basis.
7. Love the Lord. The divine injunction is, “Do not commit adultery.”

The price of adultery is terrible, but too many learn this too late. In all your business, office and home relationships, be careful not to abuse the privilege of working with or having access to someone else’s partner. Your misdirected affection can destroy the lives of many.

About Taiwo Odukoya

Taiwo Odukoya is the senior pastor of The Fountain of Life Church. He is an avid believer in the role of the Church in the social and economic life of the nation. He is the host of The Discovery for Men, The Discovery for Women, The Woman Leader, and Ruth and Boaz, quarterly meetings that reach out to thousands of men and women from all works of life and denominations. He lives in Lagos with his wife, Nomthi, and children. He can be reached at pastortaiwo@tfolc.org

JOY IGHILE: 24 Ways to store your make up

JOY IGHILE: 24 Ways to store your make up: Even a small amount of makeup can make your bathroom or vanity look messy and cluttered. Here are 24 unconventional ways to organize your...

24 Ways to store your make up

Even a small amount of makeup can make your bathroom or vanity look messy and cluttered. Here are 24 unconventional ways to organize your beauty products using things you probably already own. Who knew a mini loaf pan could be so useful

1. Use a spice rack as a shelf for your perfume bottles. 
2. Display pretty fragrances on top of a cake stand.
3. Arrange your everyday beauty products on a revolving spice rack to save space.
4. Toss your makeup brushes in a slim sunglasses case when traveling so you won't lose them.
5. Store liner pencils, mascara, or brushes in an old pencil box.
6. Fill a flower vase with coffee beans or beads, and stick your brushes inside for easy access.
7. Separate your products by category inside of a kitchen utensil tray to organize your makeup drawer.
8. Store your hot tools inside of a decorative magazine holder.
9. Hang your hot tools on adhesive hooks inside of a cabinet door.
10. Use the pouches on a hanging shoe organizer to store larger hair products.
11. Save space by stacking hairspray bottles on a wine rack.
12. Use a desk file organizer to display and store makeup palettes.
13. Stick your eyeshadow singles into ice tray slots so you can see all the shades at once.
14. Use a jewelry organizer to visibly store small makeup products.
15. Adhere magnets to the back of your makeup compacts, and stick them on a metal board to save space while also decorating your walls.
16. Arrange your makeup in lucite desk organizers so you can see everything that's stowed away.
17. Line your drawers with plastic food containers to neatly organize cotton balls, sponges, and other makeup application tools.
18. Stick cotton swabs inside an old candle vase.

19. Store your nail polishes in a cute cookie jar.

20. If you like traveling with many different lip shades, remove the lipsticks  out of the tubes, and keep them in a clean pillbox for easy transportation.
21. Stack pretty lipglosses and lipsticks on the tiers of a cupcake tray.
22. Use a mini loaf pan to neatly organize your lip shades or other small products inside a drawer.
23. Stack your hair ties on a pretty decorative wine bottle.

 

24. Stick your bobby pins along a magnetic strip so you won't lose them.

Culled from:Marie Claire